I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
no. you can't hotbox the world.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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