talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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