is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
