oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
