It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
