So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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