I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this will be a night to untag.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
