there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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