Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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