apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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