it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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