she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
