Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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