she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
