I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
