We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
