I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
