I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
