I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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