This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
