When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
