Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i dont even know how to be here
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
