I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
