she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
