i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
