We won't sleep together?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize