We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
