At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
