what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
