she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
