And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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