I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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