he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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