Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
