so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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