I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
