real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
