she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
