I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
