yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
