So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
