i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
