This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
