I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
