Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
