I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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