Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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