Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
