i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
