I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
