He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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