I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
