remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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