Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
