im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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