Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
