Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
