Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
