I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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