You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
