we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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